Fish, washing machines and freak stories
by Keks der Dunkelheit
Summary: 3.10 am. There are reasons Demyx woke me up, I'm sure. Luxdem kinda


Dedicated to Fenny Piper, who brightened up a bunch of shitty days with her stories. You're my hero! ;3

I don't own Kh or anything else that belongs to Square Enix. (duh?)

Beware: slight yaoi, OOCness and bad language.

...Once upon a time there was a rock. A pink rock named Jonathan and he had lot's and lot's of little friends and...

Knock knock. Bloody hell! I was trying to sleep and just when I succeded and started to dream of a weired rock and it's social life, some fucking jerk had to wake me up! Why? That's not fair. I tried hard to bring the mental image of Jonathan back to my mind and turned around to go on where I stoped. Sleeping.

Knock Knock. Ignore it Luxord, it will go away.

Knock Knock. Ignore it. Just..

Knock! Knock! ARGH!

Sleepily, I left my warm and comfortable bed, mumbling curses I can't remember now. My alarm clock read: 03:10- Great. The first night of sleep in this week and it ended minutes after I actually fell asleep. Now, you could say, why didn't he sleep yesterday? Or, stop complaining, it's your own fault.

To my defense, I can only ask you something: Have you ever heard the ''Under the sea song''? Yes? Well, I have too, but I had to listen to it about five days straight. 'Cause, the Superior//insert thunder sound of doom here//, wanted me to watch this bloody world with all of it's goddamned _singing_ fish for five fucking days. Try to sleep while they sing their songs about everthing, shoes, seaweed and me included. Sound travels better in water then in air so the long and the short of it is: I was screwed, forced to stay awake until I passed out. And even about that, they made songs.

Now I knew why there were no strong hearts around, the merpeople's brains were too drenched and decayed from water and bad music to produce anything worth fighting. They were just annoying. Like whoever tried to wake me up.

I opened the door with a not so smooth grab of my hand and glared outside. ''What...?!'' Standing there was a beaming blond, wearing light blue PJ's with a fishprint on the front. He could just have left a slumberparty at some random girl's house. In my opinion, he should turn around and walk back there, until I felt well enought to get mad at him.

''Hiya Luxy.'' his eyes scanned me. If he wasn't blind, he would see that I just got up and leave with a lame excuse. ''Ough, why are you so ruffled?'' He didn't. If there is an award for dumbness, Demyx would have won right there. ''Oh I don't know. Maybe because I was sleeping. Or because, it's in the middle of the night, who knows? But, what are _you_ doing here?!''

''Can't sleep. I feel alone.'' Oh yes, great attitude, I can't sleep, so Luxord has to stay awake too. I had the urgent desire to slam the door and hit my head against the closest wall until I'd pass out. Let's find out how alone he'd feel then.

Instead, I smiled halfheartedly and said: ''Why don't you try it again? I bet you fall asleep.'' 'And if not, I help him with something solid and big that I can hit on his head.' ''Noies. Axel's having a washing maschine party next to me. I asked him to stop, but he stood there in his undies and said, they were the last bit of clean clothing he had. Oh, poor Ax.'' Poor Ax? Once I was done with him, he would be nothing but a crimson puddle with some lumbs in it. Then you'd say: Poor Axel. But how could you do your laundry at three (fucking) a.m.? Was today the official annoy Luxord day?

''Are you sure he is doing that?'' ''Jup, he even invited Roxas to help him. They have fun with the dirty clothings, or at least it sounds like it.'' My mind brightened up a bit: Axel+ Roxas+ underpants washing machine? It didn't get enlightened enough to figure out the washing part though, but the rest... let's say I know why Demyx went. Axel in action...ouch.

I looked at him, sighed and nodded, allowing him to come into my room. The annoying reader who complained up there, will jump to his/her feet now and scream: ''Why did you do that? That's not making sense. Shitty story,'' and I have to say: ''Course it makes sense love, because where else should the little watermage go at three o'clock? I mean, he could try to wake up I, III or VII and die a slow, painful death. Demyx may not be smart, but he's rather good-looking and not overly dangerous. In fact, I like his music, so he would be quite a loss. Or, he could stand in front of Xigbar, beam at him and say something about not being alone during the night. Not good either?

The next best thing would be to wake our sweet nymph. She'd like him, I bet. Last time, she made him watch a movie including a chainsaw, nails and cute, little orphan children. And who had to deal with his nightmares? Me.

For the rest, I was fairly sure IV, V, VI and XI would not even bother to open the door. Means Demyx alone in the darkness of a huge castle. Also NOT good.

You understand my reasons now, I hope? Oh, and love, if the story is shitty, switch of your computer and shut the fuck up. Thank you.

Where was I? Oh, I remember: Once we both stood there, I asked: ''And what are you planing to do now?'' Just to be sure, he would figure it out, I added: ''If you haven't noticed: I am tired, so hurry.''

''Ough, I dunno. But, if you're tired, why can't I sleep with you?'' Mentally, I congratulated myself, that he was not standing in front of Xigbar when he said that... Hey, if somebody would ever come to own this cute ass, better me than him, don't you think? (;3) Because, you know, we had some strange competition about it, but so far nobody had won. I had even worked out a scheme, waiting for the opportunity to use it. What? I may be a gambler, but just having faith and doing nothing brought me nowhere. And the prize was worth it, don't you think? I made a mental note to take care of this when I was a bit more... present.

For the moment, all I could come up with was: ''You know that this sounds disturbing?'' he shrugged, suprisingly looking like he knew what he was doing, considered the time. ''It does? Oh.'' It concerned him close to nothing, that he was talking stuff you could missinterpret badly. But at least he was not totally ignoring the disbelieve my eyes must have shown, he tried to pull it together and think before talking: ''But, you haven't answered my question.'' His gaze met mine and he smiled sheepishly. ''Can I sleep here? I'll be good.'' 'Is it just my mind, or does he talk that shit on purpose?' the thought seemed to glow behind my eyes, changing colors. 'Great Luxord, you're talking to yourself. You've come a long way mate.' I groaned and left for the bedroom. Like I cared about him or the weired voice inside of my head. They could go and have fun somewhere, as long as they left me alone. Both of them.

''Whatever. There's a couch- thing somewhere. Night.''Accept it or leave, no futher negotiations. Demyx cocked his head to one side. Had he noticed the unspoken extra-sentence and would leave? Was his mind not totally lost?

''Ough.. Why can't we share your bed? I don't need much space and it'll be kuddly.'' Right. Since we are talking about Demyx, there was still the chance, that he'd take over my bed and make me go to his room and the noise of... washing. He could do that, I had no doubt.

The kids of today, first coming in uninvited and now making up rules for a game I didn't wanted to play in the first place. But, tired as I was, I had not enough strengh to fight and there was still a next morning.

I shook my head. Before this moring and the vague chance that something would or could possible happen, was still a night with a constantly hyperactive Demyx. Next to me. In my bed. My nerves were not made to stand that. So it was settled: ''Screw kuddly, I want sleep.'' Blue eyes watched me, making me feel guilty. I felt like I had to offer something, or he'd be offended for ever. Why did it have to be so complicated to get a rest?

''Uhm... do you want to sleep on the floor?'' Without another word, he entered the bedroom and sat down on the carpet, smiling up. I had not expected that. What might have happened, if I asked him to sleep standing in the doorway? No, I didn't want to know that. I scratched my head, unsure of what to think of the situation.

He stretched his arms and put his head on them, like they were a godly comfortable pillow. I could not believe it. He'd rather sleep on a carpet next to me than on a couch, a room away. Okay? Some people really overdid the whole being- alone thing. Or maybe, he was still dreaming of those chainsaws, but too ashamed to confess it. And this happened when? Right, exactly the day, I desired nothing more than my bed. Hoorray for a night with Demyx.

Lights were turned off and I closed the door. The floor was not looking overly cosy, but was that my problem? Was I curled up down there on a dusty rug? No.

I shrugged and laid down in _my_ bed, immediatly feeling my body grow heavy. From somewhere next to me, I heard a: ''Night Luxy.'' Full stop.

He was not trying to play truth or dare or anything of those other things I had pictured him doing to freak me out. In fact, Demyx was quiet enough to forget about him. ''Night.'' Seconds passed. I would not actually get the chance to sleep? Holy shit. Shifting under the blanket, I closed my eyes. Sleep cradled me in it's warm embrace and I felt my mind drift away. Oh yes!

''Uhm Lux? I'm cold.'' Oh yes. Praise the holy excrements!

I refused to move, so I just mumbled: ''Bad luck.'' He made a fake sobbing noise. ''But, but.. you're luck. The master of it! Does that mean, you're bad?'' Definatly fake. Not even he was that stupid. What was he up to? Couldn't he see that he could do a naked belly dance in my room and I would not care, as long as he'd do it quiet? Not because I didn't wanted to deal with him, but simply because I was not in the condition to do so. Non- Life sucks.

Somehow I managed to switch on the lamp on my bedside table without crashing all furniture I could reach. Groaning, I sat up and called a dusk, to: bring me a fucking quilt, or die from lifelong torture. It vanished suprisingly fast, bowing overly polite. When it was gone, Demyx stared at me and said: ''Ough.. that was rude. '' I did not answer that and fell back, shilding my eyes from the light with one hand. I felt like falling asleep every moment. ''Luxord? Could you tell me a story until the dusk comes back?'' ''NO. Let's.. try to sleep, kay?''

''I can sleep better when somebody tells me a story.'' Was he saying that I, who had managed to stay almost totally calm through enormous torture and self dicipline, should use these skills on my half-dead fantasy? Oh, for christ's sake. There was no way I'd tell him a story. But what other options did I have? I knew he would annoy me to dead if I could not entertain him. And throwing him out after inviting him in, would not be very gentleman- like. There was only one way to escape left:

''What story?'' I mustered up the strengh to sit up. He giggled. Uh-oh. ''A fairytale. With a kingdom in danger, monsters, a cute main character and me.'' Anything else? French fries, maybe? Where was this bloody dusk?! I decided to stop ranting and start talking. He could not expect shakespeare at three o'clock, anyway.

''Okay. Once there was this dragon and it farted and everybody in the whole kingdom died. End.'' I was satified with it. In fact, I had included the whole cast and invented a dragon. Luxord, you're such a smartass.

''No. That's dumb; there was no moral in it. Another one!'' I wanted to protest and tell him to go screw himself with his stupid story, but lacked the will to do so. Instead, I began searching my memories for a story, I could adapt to the one I needed. Bed, cushion and sleep were everything I got from my fantasy... wait. Fantasy? Like in... Final fantasy? An idea popped up in my head, retarded enough to work. Thank you Square Enix.

I took a deep breath. ''Once there was this guy, called...'' Oh, I had forgotten how I named him. Frogsucker I think, but this name is as heroic as hell. Desperatly, I said the first name I could think of: ''Luxord.'' oh great, even better. ''And he was really good at... sport. But then, one day a huge something appeared, killed his whole family and stuff and took him to a strange new world.'' ''Why didn't he die?'' Do I look like I know it? God, kid let me sleep and ask tomorrow again. ''Cause he had mysterious dungarees-powers that protected him. And in this new world, he met this good looking blond called...'' ''Demyx!'' Okay, if he said so. One more thing to cross of the list.''Yes, he met Demyx, a charming young magician. And he said: ''Wow, you're hawt.'', because he hadn't got some for a long time, considered the trouble with his natal world. And Demyx just said: ''So are you. But I can't date you. I have to save the world with my amazing magic.'' Because, you know Demyx could summon clones of himself to build an army and kill whatever threatened the world and then...'' A yawn forced me to take a break from the horror I dared to call a story. ''So Luxord, now home, plan and familyless, decided he would help him and then be off to the netherlands to marry Demyx, who did not wanted to have a relationship before being married and so on. Yeah, there was nothing else for him to be done so, you know.'' I felt my eyelids getting a bit too heavy for a moment and stoped talking. Even without looking at him, I knew he was pouding. 'Oh, gimme a break.', I thought but could not do anything but get on with my... story. My story, yes.

This moment, I remembered that I had no idea how the story would end. I had picked the only game I ever played on a Playstation and even that just because it was a game and I was the master of games and so on... I dumped it a couple of days later, rather bored. Oh shit.

Demyx grew impatient: ''And, what happened next? Did Luxord and Demyx fall in love with each other?'' Of course, she never said his name in the whole game and he was intelligent as the fish I had spent the week with. ''Sure. But there was this other guy with strange hair and a sick way of talking.. called..'' ''Zexion?'' If you would describe him that way, it did sound like him, I have to say. ''Yes, Zexion. And he was straight as a circle and to prove that to his ugly frog-friends, he wanted to bed Demyx. Yeah, everybody wants this guy, don't ask me why. Probably Axe or the possibility of uncontrollable cloneorg... cough, uhm. Where was I?'' My thoughts had now finally quited their attempts of making sense and left me alone with the mental image of exactly those (water)clones. Urgh, water. With fish. I felt like I developed a new, unknown phobia: water and fish. Shuddering, I turned my head and met Demyx's glare. What was wrong with.. Oh right, the story. Just bad luck all I could think of were these clones, dancing with Bom-chika-wah-wah screaming fish. Lack of sleep is frightening.

Fortunatly he helped me: ''You were talking of Zexion who wanted the guy who is called like me. And I wanted to ask if they also loved each other? Or, was Demyx cheating on poor Luxord, because this Zexion was smexy?'' It sounded so disturbing, I felt like gaging. Poor Luxord and smexy Zexion, we just forgot about.. An idea! Finally! I smirked.

''No. It was because of Axel.'' ''Axel? Was he in love too?'' ''Yes, he was Demyx' cousin and he had the hots for Luxord but did not wanted to share with his cousin so he called Zexion and.. '' this idea did not last long. I needed a new one, as quick as possible. '' then...Demyx married Zexion, but he ran away because Zexion was strange. So he grabbed Luxord and they hid in a wood where they... went swimming? With fish! (Oh god, my own behavior gave me the creeps.) And they had a steamy make-out session there until Demyx remembered he had to save the world and (end of Frogsucker's game, so I had to guess.) fought and won. Oh, and Zexion died, but his hair saved him from the dead somehow and... they all loved each other and had babies and stuff, I suppose. The end.''

I sighed. Two words have never been that satifying. Good god, I did it! And it only took me.. six minutes of my precious recovering time. Come to think about it, the time I stayed awake could have been used better. I glanced at Demyx who grinned excited, almost like a puppy, waiting for somebody to throw a bone or an expensive boot or whatever these furballs like. Exept for the fact that he giggled, unlike a dog. ''Who had babies? Zexion and his hair? Is that possible?'' And the second award of dumbness goes to...Demyx. I snorted. He had listened to the crap I talked? ''Sure. They made.. '' No Luxord, it sounds like the beginning of a new story. Stop it before it's too late.

I started a last desperate try to get him shut up and me sleeping: I was selfless. Believe it or not, I already got that far. ''So, Demyx? Here's my blanket, take it and let's sleep, okay?'' This bloody dusk would never come back. And if, it could prepare for pain and everlasting doom, I swear.

Anyway, the blond took the offer and wrapped himself in the quilt, as to make sure I could not take it back without tearing it off of him.

''Oh thank you Lux. But isn't it unfair that you had to tell me a story and I don't?'' No. It had to be a mistake. He was not just saying there had to be another one of theses freak-stories? ''Tell me what it's supposed to be about.'' World, greet your newest waste of air and braincells.

I said nothing and curled up on my bed. At least no more brain torture on my side anymore. Relieved, I mumbled the first things that came to my mind: bed, drugs and fish. Should the fact that I thought of these things in this order, make me think about my life? Maybe, but not now.

Demyx nodded hystericaly and started his story, like telling stories of drugged fish, sleeping in beds was an every day thing: ''Once upon a time there was a beautiful princess.'' I was asleep at the _there_, no matter he had magically invented a fish-princess, no matter the lights were on and not the slightest matter he had just stolen my blanket. I said to myself: Screw that all, I have sleep.

And what kind of sleep. Dreamless, deep and relaxing. I decided to never wake up again. Rather useless, but the thought was... heavenly.

When I finally woke up in the next morning? (midday? Ten days later? I had no idea what the time was and I didn't care. The thing that slightly worried me was that I had missed teatime, but hey, they came back every day.), I noticed I felt warm and comfortable. Under a blanket? Aha? Where did that come from? I tried to sit up, but could not. Was it a magical blanket that took my muscles away to change them into warmth? I panicked, but figured the problem out only a moment later. The warmth was not just the reaction of my body to sleep, not in my imagination and not the magic of a cursed bed but mostly, it was the fact that Demyx was practically lying all over me, face burried in my chest. Even asleep, there was a goofy smile plastered on his face, and the feeling that somebody smiled against me was... new. I shivered, stirring him. His cheek brushed a bit of exposed skin, messy blond hair tickling me. A great way of waking up, indeed.

I thought about the state I was in and sighed. The waterwieder deserved respect, he had managed to block every muscle I could possible move, leaving me pinned to the bed. So, I did the only other thing I could do: I talked: ''You planned that from the start, didn't you?'' Talking to the ceiling was about as effective as that. He shifted in his sleep, crushing his bones against me; god, that boy was almost as thin as Axel. Can this be healthy? My thoughts were interrupted, when he drew his arms close to his body: my arms were free, only a few more of these moves and I could do more that just wiggle my toes and talk. Maybe I could, oh joy, get up and walk or eat. God, what endless possibilities!

But, the triumph didn't last long, Demyx was still dreaming of only he knows what and used his chance to wrap his arms around me, exactly when I thought of getting up. At least, he answered my previous question: ''Uhm... pancakes.'' Pancakes. I felt more like the filling of a giant cuddly sandwich. With fish. But at least, nobody was singing. Thinking about it, I realized that in Demyx weired world, pancakes was a positive word so I could assume, it ment yes.

With my freed hand, I hit my forehead. How stupid do you have to be, to try to understand why IX did something? As long as he was not running through the whole castle, singing: ''I slept with Luxy. It was soooo much fun.'', I could stand it. But, why did that sound so like something, Demyx would do?

The mental image was frightening, but I could still enjoy the time I spent with him when he was quiet like this. And I really began to enjoy the warmth, the breath against my skin. Like a lullabye. Just seconds before falling asleep again, I thought: 'Oh, just wait for my revenge Demyx. No more pancakes for you then. Just me. And, what was that thing with the belly dance?' I think I slept smirking.

Meanwhile, a poor lonesome dusk was making it's way through the castle, fearing for his non-existant life. Where was it supposed to find a quilt with the abbility to reproduce itself?

Le Ende! Please review, I'd love to know if you liked it. (hugs poor unprepared readers)

C ya!


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